Friday, April 4, 2008

Think First

This has been an interesting week. I went to WW yesterday and it is official, I have lost 14 pounds since I started this journey. I am in my fifth week of working out. I feel pretty good about my accomplishments so far. I know it is going to be a long road, so I am trying to focus on the here and now and just do it day by day. Friday I went to the doctor for some minor things. But at the check up I had lost 16 pounds since my last time at the doctor, which was 6 months ago. That is a good start. My blood pressure was real low. Not that it was high before, but it was on the high side of normal. Now it is on the low side of normal. Nice benefit. But my doctor was a little discouraging. Which I will just chalk up to being male, not thinking first and not understanding what it is like to be me. Anyway, he was saying that the best thing I could do for myself right now is stick with the weight watchers. He said, and I am quoting here "You could never exercise enough to lose the amount of weight you need to lose." This really bothered me. He sounded so condescending. I was hoping he would be glad of what I had done so far. I feel really good about working out. I know it is good for me and it is helping me to stick to the weight watchers plan better. I know that if I eat certain foods, it just defeats all the work in the gym. I believe the key to my losing weight is the exercise. I know it. I don't care what he says. I admire my doctor, we have seen him for well over 15 years. I do not think he meant to discourage my exercising. But he was not very encouraging. So I will just have to find my support somewhere else. So there. I love the way working out makes me feel. So I am going to continue on the path I have started. (btw I climbed the stairs to his office and back down again. That was the first time ever, I have always taken the elevator.)

So I went to the store to buy some cooler pants to work out in. I ended up buying a smaller size. It was great. In fact, the size I bought is a little baggy. So I probably could have gone down another size. But I did not think of it. I just put on the next size down and thought great they fit and bought them. I am going to wait a little longer before buying some more. :)

At WW I received a book about finding out what stresses cause me to eat. It was really enlightening. I know I am an emotional eater. I eat because I am happy, sad, lonely, depressed, bored what ever. I eat. So I took a quiz and then the quiz tells you what type of things trigger your eating habits. Then it tells you ways to handle that trigger. The biggest thing I learned from the quiz is that I need to learn from my past experiences. Losing weight is not a new thing to me. I have tried many times, had some success and then went right back to my old ways. So this learn from experience is something I can really use. I tend to think of my past attempts of losing weight as failures. So I never really looked at them as learning experiences to help me this time do better. So I am going to make an attempt to think about my past weight loss attempts and try to see what did and did not work for me.

I did do that in regards to the exercise thing. I know that I never have put it in my life, so that is why I went to a trainer. To get more knowledge about working out. By going to weight watchers, I can learn from the people there. What works for them may work for me.

I do know that if I have anything like ice cream or sweets in the house, I will eat it. So I just cannot go there. I need to keep healthy stuff like fruit and veggies in the house. I will eat them. It is helping not to have pop in the house. I do not drink it, if it is not easily accessible. It is time to admit I am addicted to sugar, in any form. Even the low cal treats. I just have to stay clear of sweets. Save them for special occasions, and plan for them in advance. I really do love eating vegetables. So I am going to try to find new recipes for using more veggies.

Another thing I have learned from doing Weight Watchers so many times in the past, is to read the literature. I have never read all the stuff that they hand out to you every week. I always thought "Oh I know about that......blah blah..." So I did not take the time to read the literature. But this time I am reading the stuff they give to me. I have actually found many things in there to be very helpful. I have marked pages and underlined things to remember. I am using them as tools to help me on this journey. I think it is helping me to be more focused and to think first.

While thinking over my past attempts at weight loss, I discovered a pattern. I realized that I would get so far in and maybe not lose as much weight as I wanted for a couple of weeks. Then I get discouraged , give in and eat too much (not writing any of it, or counting it), then I would quit feeling like a failure. Thinking aobut this pattern made me want to discover why I get so down on myself. I want to know what I can do now to keep myself motivated.

I like to learn new things. Once I feel like I have learned it all, I get bored. I need to mix it up and keep in interesting. I also get tired and bored with my food. I stop eating my comfort foods without finding other ways to comfort me. I need to learn new comfort techniques and new recipes. I need to learn to cook in a different way. That will be my next big challenge, to learn new healthy cooking habits. Maybe I will take a healthy cooking class. I am discovering new ways to relieve stress everyday. Exercise is really helping. I am proud of myself. I am on my way to a better life.

We went out to eat as a family a week ago on Friday. The kids really like the buffet at the Ponderosa and I love their salmon. I ordered a good side salad with fat free dressing (no buffet for me), and grilled salmon with a baked potato butter on the side, no sour cream. I ate the salad and the waiter brought out rolls. But they were really big and I decided not to eat one. I did however, plan on having a Mt. Dew. When I finished my Mt. Dew the waiter brought me another one.But by that time I had eaten half of my salmon and half of my potato and I felt full. I am really trying to pay attention to my body signals. You know when you eat all the time, you do not feel hungry or full, so these are new sensations. I asked the waiter for a doggy bag. I took half of my meal home for lunch the next day. So then I was sitting there, everyone is still eating and I am done. So I started to drink that Mt. Dew. Then I stopped, I was full and did not need the Dew. So I took a dirty spoon and threw it into the glass of pop. My dh said, well that's one way to stop drinking it. I said well it was just too tempting to keep sipping it while sitting here. I did not drink any more. Yeah! also, that was the last Dew I had. I have not had any Dew this week at all. That is a big improvement. Now I have given up pop before, but it never lasts very long. I have given it up cold turkey and then I crave it so bad that I give in. I am not saying I will never have another pop. But I will count it and write it down.

I heard something interesting on the radio the other day. Did you know that the pretty little country singer Carrie Underwood, writes down everything she eats? That must be how she stays so fit.

I learned today, that Mandy, my trainer is younger than my oldest son. Wow. she is so on top of things. She is so busy and seems to have it all together. I can learn so much from her. She finished both her college degrees in 4 years. She really knows how to set goals and accomplish them. I love that about her. She is really great. She pushes me past the place I think I can go. I would give up and I sometimes tucker out and try to give up but she is right there, saying you can do it. She makes me believe I can.

A good friend has been sending me these little eDirections for how to lose weight. Today I got one that was really good. Here it is:

Last week you began the process of making wellness your reality.

Stephen Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People, says ".start inside - paradigms, character, motives."

What keeps you thinking about changing your diet? What keeps you from following through? Once you know both sides of your internal debate, your chances of making the change improve.

Reread the list you made last week. Ask if your reasons for wanting to change seem stronger than those for keeping the status quo. Want to reinforce your reasons for making a change? Look for other people who have lost weight, got fit, stopped smoking. Ask about their motivation. Talking with others can often teach you about yourself.

© 2001 - 2008 New Directions Behavioral Health, All Rights Reserved.

This is so cool. It really fits into everything I am learning about weight loss and working out from WW and from Mandy. This is life changing stuff. Mandy has encouraged me to make goals and every week she goes over them with me. To see what progress I am making. Doing this blog has helped me to talk out my feelings about this journey. It is helping me to have conversations with people that I might not have talked to before. It is helping me to learn about myself. One thing I am really learning is to Think First. Think First. before you eat, before you talk (maybe my doctor should have done that! LOL ), before you work out. Think about what you are doing, why you are doing it and how to best get what you want.

1 comment:

KC Kanenwishers said...

You are so right Kathy! Keep up the exercising. You are right...there is no way you could accomplish your goal with just watching your food. Even weight watchers knows that! Keep up the hard work!